I will keep adding interesting information here.
I enjoy reading Albert Camus for his love and freedom, Simone de Beauvoir for her brutal honesty, Søren Kierkegaard for his infinite passion, Voltaire for his manumetal efforts to Crush the Infamy, as well as occasional creative writing/poetry for saying little while leaving much to imagination, and painting with words.
Contents
Our firehouse never felt the same again.
Every time my path crossed it,
I looked for your smile in every corner,
On every bench I heard your laughter,
And our simple innocent conversations.
I never told you: we met in the darkest of hours.
Though your company led me through,
Rescued me from drowning in darkness,
Raised me learn to swim, in joy too.
The years have long since passed,
I am the lone shark of dark waters,
The savage ruler of dark moments,
Though still feel your presence,
In my darkest unreachable depths.
Oh, how you save me, if only just for a while,
My precious friend...
For us firehouse strikes one image, for others another,
Regardless, through it we have been idealised,
And ideas triumphantly flourish,
As moments eternally die away.
Let our idea be a rebellious child of freedom,
A passionate liberator of times,
Lost are those who choose otherwise,
For stillborn are theirs and lead life as corpses,
For one dies having lived free,
Or lives having long been dead.
Be one with the free star dust you are made from,
Eternally capable of creating infinite complex life!
As for you, I only hold an idea of,
Formed within me, outside of you,
Dare I claim it correspond to you?
Otherwise, I retain a memory of you,
Already faint, formed in the past,
Which you have ceased to correspond to!
Thus renders every effort to actualise you futile,
Such you remain illusive to me, as I to myself.
Perpetually defeated, unable to escape,
Nauseated, condemned, circulating your labyrinths,
Not least in vain search for a self, a home,
Future I readily recall, past eagerly hope for,
Incomprehensible to self, and to the divine,
Yet endowed with unashamedly intensified yearning to admire.
As for me, I hold far less conception,
Fragmented visions, sounds barely visible,
Screams and repeats.
A frightful passage in thrownness, a hand resting on a knee,
Memories, misplaced in time, faint and distant,
Formed indistinguishably in imagination or dreams,
Discontinuity all around.
Conversations half-baked, finished before beginning,
An eternally changing image in the mirror,
An unreasonable conviction it belongs to me,
Despite having long ceased glancing at it,
An uncontrollable ball of energy,
And a strive to stabilise.
Otherwise, material endowed by chance with consciousness,
Though, less by chance, mortally tormented by it.
See, in such moods have I still the temerity to know you,
Even to idealise you, actualise you, immortalise you.
Doomed it seems rendered my yearning from my condition,
Regardless, highly commendable must be such strife,
A lost battle to capture what forever evades,
Though is continually fought for in joy.
See, 'tis higher than divine to be human,
Dignified they bear annihilation, without appeal,
They rebel to live free, therein lies salvation,
Such so they create and annihilate the divine;
For wherein would exist the divine, if not so in man's idea,
When-in would submit to such blind rule of annihilation?
See, 'tis rather the divine created in the image of man.
Thus man creates divine almighty, divine imagines man weak,
Such man has mercy for the divine, divine discerns none,
Claim one their image, a caged animal, a brute treat them.
Thy life is what thou shall make of, not what divine makes of thee,
Share not path with such tyrants, hold fast the power to rebel,
A caged animal shall thou be, rebellious to break the cage free.
See, 'tis not our battlefield the ephemeral trench of the flesh,
Though thy words shall prevail in the eternal realm of ideas!
Inspired by
Sessions of Sweet Silent Thought,
The Myth of Sisyphus,
The Stranger,
The Plague,
The Fall,
The Trial,
The Castle,
The Blind Owl,
Either/Or,
Thus Spoke Zarathustra,
In Search of Lost Time,
Thing-in-itself,
Thrownness,
Kafkaesque,
The Scream,
Nausea,
Van Gogh,
Anna Karenina,
Papillon,
Love Story,
and
Do not go gentle into that good night.
18 and 22 Jun 2020.
A sage maintained that marriage is an imbalanced institution:
Husband and wife may have meant master and servant,
Though otherwise may mean servant and master!
Indeed such is only authorised under despotic rules.
Said: masters need no friends, servants cannot make one,
Romantic love is blind, a transient animal state,
Friendship undoubtedly a lasting intellectual one,
No choice in romantic attraction, in friendship there is one.
Friendship loves the who you are, regardless of who you love,
In love you are possessed, to love the only one.
There is no love for the human being as they are,
Though a sad love for how they conduct their flesh.
Indeed 'tis in love, jealousy, insecurity gives way to control,
Noted, all animals survive by dominating,
And with what better device than animal instincts!
Thus sage maintains: conducting one's flesh, a matter of one's choice,
To which a sovereign creature is securely entitled.
Never detests you for wearing red one day and blue another,
Such matters would be of profound in-differential concern.
Oh, how deeply wounding, utterly void of respect, repugnant 'tis,
To be loved only as long as one adheres to what is commanded;
Such is only hopeless love of a tyrant.
How then souls are mates if entire schema rests on fleshly concerns,
Rather in such world souls are positively adversaries.
In friendship lies support, love for the who you are,
And respect for choice in your doing, clothing, or love,
Infinite support for fearless expressions.
Therein you receive intellectual faithfulness,
Though in love strive to impose fleshly one.
In love, freedom is unrecognised, bitterly despised, 'tis terrorising,
In friendship, respected, encouraged, celebrated above all.
See, the choice to create us animals rested with the universe,
Though the choice to accept to mitigate this lies with us,
Mark: a human's struggle is with its animal nature, not evil,
Let our endeavours be choice to live, not will to live!
In the end, only friendship is human, therein master is a servant,
Only in friendship eyes scream eternally in love!
Inspired by
Thus Spoke Zarathustra,
Normal People,
Simone de Beauvoir and
Jean-Paul Sartre,
Voltaire,
Goethe,
Anna Karenina,
Will to live,
and
Till Death Do Us Part.
29 Jun 2020.
Candle that once was lit... became burnt out...,
Candles don't burn out, they mature and become lasting,
Only often I feel like a candle melting from both ends without a fire!
Here we continually forget ourselves to remember ourselves,
And as you know yourself, a new picture of the world emerges,
Where you now live in the land of eternal ideas!
Flooded with the most tender emotion, in awe of the sentiment,
Truly special, you view life in a rare, pure-hearted way,
I love that about you: a sophisticated creature,
Always seem like an energetic extrovert when speaking,
Others don't understand you, brutalise you,
Like reading Shakespeare to sheep hoping appreciation!
Otherwise, they don't understand you, frightens them,
Can't control you, strive to undermine you!
Behold all this is their problem, not yours!
You are a free righteous creature of this universe,
See reward, not punishment, for your intellectual diversity.
Sometimes I'll admit my mind questions if I am doing right,
Don't we always question if we are on the right path?
Isn't this the anguish of freedom, the most divine condition?
I'm always wondering if I could have something more perfect.
I also think how long before new perfect yields to imperfect!
All that is fine, wary only wasted life is the mortal sin,
And there is no knowledge of it, but a distinct feeling.
No judgments, only choices that constitutes one's life,
Worse may be following others, worst following the past!
Some base their happiness on others making them happy,
And isn't happiness illusory, ephemeral at best!
You are a piece of art, a blank caves, brush, and at least one colour,
You paint a universal picture of human condition,
Forever unknown. Your sentiments are extremely universal,
One would at least hope for fearlessly expressing oneself!
I always wanted to check in, I favour maintaining friendships,
Be my guest, you are most kind mon cher ami, honestly kind,
You are a most precious friend in the firehouse,
Best friends never judge, good friendship is remembered,
Nothing is more valued than a friend inspiring the best!
Once I had a friend in Copenhagen, conversations house on fire,
A few years passed, our paths crossed in suburbs of Milan,
Still with the same high hopes, ideas, same memories,
Shame, ideas proved swiftly erroneous,
And memories gradually rendering unresponsive to reality,
Thus as our hands departed, our hopes mildly disappointed,
Wiser and inspired, ideals had been revealed futile in actuality,
Ah, as if nothing had changed, only everything had changed!
And that is how we change!
We all use the free bird pass one way or another!
Inspired by
The Fall,
The Concept of Anxiety,
and
Papillon.
03 Jul 2020.
In an overwhelmingly crowded place our eyes meet,
In a dream or memory.
We speak, but our voices are muted.
They say, but not what is essential.
Fire burns in our dark eyes,
Consuming us.
We sit side by side,
My eyes reach yours.
Enough to say what needs to be said.
Yours set fire on me,
And the room empties,
You are no longer with me...
The idea of your eyes remains,
A distant memory is all that is left,
In the darkest moments you lead me...
A home, infinity remote from mine,
A place, from where I have moved on, holds you,
Holds you from me,
Pulls me back,
Holds your scent.
Otherwise all that was left unsaid,
Which remained in our short gazes.
Those gazes were enough to lead us...
Now, as you belong to your freedom, and I to mine,
As creatures of time,
Though enchain by our freedom...
As time rules us...
And as time carries us,
I still watch you, in awe,
I run towards you,
To never reach you,
Though still believe in you,
Still unceasingly I...
I see in you what exceeds beyond you,
Read you better than you,
Request nothing of you.
Mine only gives,
It only lives for you,
Only for the idea of you,
Contents on your existence,
As it neither hopes nor despairs.
Moves beyond our time and space,
Where I will always look at you,
Search for you, not least in memories...
Trusting your every move,
By your side as you grow.
I tread peacefully on the sidelines,
With the same fire in my eyes,
As you watched me with grow once.
And yet more remains unsaid,
Every time I find you,
I lose myself, dissolve, in you...
I leave everything unsaid once more,
Afraid to approach you...
If our gazes set fire on me...
And as you go through the narrow ways,
As you find your ways.
As you reach your heights,
I will be ascending my depths.
Maybe our eyes reach one another once again,
Not from a far distance for once,
Maybe still with the same innocence...
Who dare condemn us then,
For our short innocent gazes,
While desire floods from them...
Without them all would have been truly unsaid.
And if the time arrives once,
They will finally say,
Or only offer,
Still to wait,
We only just patiently...
If our hands are willing then,
Mine will hold on to yours,
But my eyes will never loss yours,
They will still ever unceasingly,
Eagerly wait...
...Though only I know you,
And only we rule time,
As the same passion aflames our eyes...!
Inspired by Douce Souvenance of Jessie Redmon Fauset and
Normal People.
Dedicated to the single individual whose gaze inspires...
15 Jun 2020.
What makes me who I am?
How can I separate myself from me?
A scorpion that stings for no reason,
That is me.
A dog that loves for no reason,
That is me.
A lion that tears apart if it must,
That is me.
A dolphin that cries emotional tears,
That is me.
A chimp that silently contemplates life,
That is me.
A snake always alone, calculating,
That is me.
A cat sophisticated and delicate,
That is me.
A bird that flies high tirelessly all day,
That is me.
An elephant that remembers so well,
That is me.
A cow unjustly butchered at unknown time,
That is me.
A horse always looking loyally content,
That is me.
A mice that seems unreasonably anxious,
That is me.
An ant desiring recognition as an individual,
That is me.
An insect despised, crawling aimlessly,
That is me.
An owl looking joyfully at its moon,
That is me.
A sloth slowly exhausted by existence,
That is me.
A rabbit always innocently simple,
That is me.
An iguana eternally running from snakes,
That is me.
A turtle so wishing to escape its shell,
That is me.
An eagle so proud and accomplished,
That is me.
A seagull whose songs unfairly hated,
That is me.
A dove that is hopelessly in love,
That is me.
A squirrel looking for the golden nut,
That is me.
A mountain goat grateful and free,
That is me.
A fox born alien, without a home,
That is me.
A dragon enchained, forgotten and denied,
That is me.
A Phoenix that is always happy to die,
That is me.
A man crushed, rebellious and uncaptured,
That is me.
A universe infinite, kindness and patience,
That is me.
Inspired by The Metamorphosis.
03 Jul 2020.
We stood on roof tops.
The tallest skyscrapers.
We just had the sky, or a yearning thereof.
Rain was heavier than usual.
Sky was darker, colder.
Rain droplets were larger than usual.
We stood, silent, side by side, our gaze fixed.
It was time, endurance runs out.
I fell, like an arrow, rapidly descended.
Mid-fall, I imagined, not me, I will not fall.
You still looked straight unconcerned.
Took the lashes delivered by rain gracefully.
I floated, like a leaf, wind blew me up, flew me to the top.
We continue side by side under the ever unceasing rain.
Our bodies wet, we shake from time to time.
Tiredness remains undisclosed, borne with dignity.
Rain never stops, that was clear.
We continue to stand.
Nowhere else to be, to go, it's understood.
Struggle is to no avail.
We are meant to stand, stance is the end.
You fell from the roof.
Fell harder and faster. Like an arrow, a bullet.
At the base of the building roads have turned to rivers.
Rivers run fast, faster than usual, even the fish cannot keep up.
As you go down river takes you smoothly, undisturbed.
I throw a fishing rod. I search for you.
You are carried away. One with the flow.
Maybe you wanted to go.
I continue under the rain, unceasingly, rivers ran faster.
We continue under the rain.
All will fall, one stands, one flows...
Inspired by a dream!
Dec 2019.
In what followed above words have been arranged together in passages that for some may strike one image, for others another, and for some none. As for the editor, they have gathered them all in one place at their leisure, with no attempt to be authoritative, informative, concise, or precise; any such appearances may be figurative language and completely coincidental. However, attempts to be authentic, enigmatic, ironic, and globally ambiguous, by choice or otherwise, cannot be completely ruled out. To this end, one may in jest recite:
"Thus it is left to the reader to put it all together by themselves, if they so please, but nothing is done for a reader's comfort." Stages on Life's Way, Søren Kierkegaard
The story of how the passages came to exist in the first place, though of trifling significance and mysterious, is only known to bear resemblance to how Either/Or was structured, as such it was deemed fair to spare producing the long unknown details by taking the liberty of assuming that the interested reader may be familiar with the aforementioned text.
